Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Sitting, Laying, Sweating

This was the saving moment of my hospital stay..getting to sit up and not be basking in the ass/back/leg sweat that I'd been lying in for the past 2 days. And I regret the seems even beards can get sweaty and greasy. And where was my sponge bath!? The nurse left me with a bucket while I was lying down and couldn't sit up to clean what, my arms? oh great.. so my back, ass, legs, stomach gross stitching are sweaty as sweaty can be.. and my forearms are clean? Makes sense.

After 2 days though it was all good. I started walking basically on saturday and from then on they couldn't contain me. Sunday aft they let me out as I refused to lay in my sweat soaked bed any longer.

Gross...and they got even grosser

Thankfully the surg was done laproscopically leaving me with just 2 small and 2 medium size incisions...that hurt like a bitch. Unfortunately I had some strange reaction to morphine and other heavy pain meds and was limited to tylenol..not gonna cut it for just having an organ removed.

Oh and I also had a reaction to the tape causing the biggest..the grossest.. the yellowest..the wateriest...blister I've ever seen. It was the size of a small football stadium. Its gone now and hurts like a bitch too and it leaked grossness all over one of my shirts. amazing.

Pheo and the knife

Well after 4 long stressful weeks of anticipation and fear, the day finally came to remove "it". I've decided to call it "it" rather than "pheo" in hopes that I may never have to hear that name again.

I arrived to the hospital Thursday morning, promptly at 8:30 am, 2 hrs prior to the surgery start time.

Brody: "Hi there, Im here to have fist sized growth pulverized out of me for 10:00".

Nurse: "What did you do, stop for some gambling before you came in!!.. your 2 hrs late"!!

Brody: "Well, looks like I'll just head back to bed then"

Apparently they rescheduled the appt without confirming with the important parties involved: the Patient! However this ended up as a blessing in disguise. After shaving exactly half my body (I really think this was unnecessary..I mean they were only going to be making 3 small cuts in me, and now im left with shaved abs), they whisked me away to the pre op room. After a bludgeoned attempt at sticking an IV in my wrist which created a scene of spraying blood the nearly knocked my sister out, the second attempt finally connected. With no time to waste they shipped me right into the operating room, where I shimmied onto the table. Interesting scene I must say. Room full of people, all of who were introduced to me by the surg while I lie on the table being stuck full of needles. Before I new it they had a mask on my face and asked me to take some deep breathes..none of this counting backwards business, they were going strait for the action. And that about sums it up. Next I knew I was awake with a bunch of nurses humming and hawing all around me. I checked out my wounds..laproscopic which was good, checked out my catheter..and checked the took just under 3 hrs. Man was I hungry, thirsty and ready to go. I really didn't feel out of it at all.

Overall the actual surgery wasn't all that bad. The doctors were all cool and chelaxed and like I said even introduced me to everyone who would be working on me in the room, kinda like a Gray Anatomy might be even though I've never seen it.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Art and the Pheo

Yesterday, June 3, I had my Pre Surg Admission Apt at Toronto General Hospital. With surgery being only a week away I suppose they want to make sure I know exactly what their going to do to me. In a way it felt good to know exactly what would happen even though I'll be out almost from the time I pass through the hospital door, what with me requesting "something for the stress" aka code word for dope me up please. What I found out is rather discerning but again thankfully I'll either be doped up or passed out. 1) A minimum of 4 tubes will protrude from various parts of my body during the surgery2) 2 of these tubes (one of which will extend from my johny and when taken out will feel like a sharp bee sting) will still be in me when I wake up 3) They remove the tumour by.. and I quote "pulverizing it". Apparently my request to attach the growth to a necklace post op will go unanswered.

The apt went well I must say. 4 different nurses visited me, each with specific tasks including the more common blood pressure, ecg, blood test.. and the less common armpit swab, nose swab, butt swab, and groin swab. At least the latter swab nurse seemed to find it a highly rewarding experience and found my uncomfortable jokes somewhat entertaining. Isn't it common curtesy to thank someone for swabbing you nose?

Oh so the title of this blog actually applies to the fact that 5 hrs worth of nurses and doctors later I decided to reward myself with a visit to the not so new anymore Toronto Art Gallery. Marvelling at the addition along dundas I happened to notice that looking down on me was room 1711 from Mount Sinia hospital, my previous venture in the not so pleasant hospital. I was glad that Toronto General was hidden behind it in the background and I was able to enjoy the moment leaving thoughts of my upcoming surgery behind.

On a random note I read today in the Star that Lebron James had a growth removed from his neck during a 5 hr operation. For some reason I found this comforting knowing that even the King has to deal with shit like this..cheezy i know.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Sister and Toronto Life

Just found out my sister has a short article posted in Toronto Life..thought I'd share as its her first for that mag

Monday, June 1, 2009

Symptoms of a Pheo

Common Symptoms of a pheo: sweating, headaches, stress, high blood pressure and heart rate.

Uncommon Symptoms but apparentely affecting me: ugliness.

The Pheo Beard

Well I've taken the liberty and fully embraced the Pheo Beard Challenge: No shaving or trimming or fixing up of any sort of the facial hair until I'm cured of the tennis ball like pain in the ass growing inside me. Week 3 in action.